1 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:29,528 It was Goethe who said we love girls for what they are. 2 00:01:29,603 --> 00:01:31,730 Well, even the great Goethe could have learned something... 3 00:01:31,805 --> 00:01:36,071 from the tale that took place on the campus of Illinois State Tech. 4 00:01:46,953 --> 00:01:50,252 May 10, 11:02 - Don Rhiner, the school's star running back... 5 00:01:50,323 --> 00:01:53,156 and candidate for All-American was out for a drive. 6 00:01:56,930 --> 00:01:59,160 Don never did make All-American. 7 00:02:20,787 --> 00:02:23,278 Let's walk, Don. Sure. 8 00:03:46,339 --> 00:03:48,136 May 11, 10:00 a. m. 9 00:03:48,208 --> 00:03:51,234 I wasn't too choked up with Vincenzo sending me to an alderman's press conference, 10 00:03:51,311 --> 00:03:54,007 so when I caught the police report of two bodies being found... 11 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:57,572 on the I.S. T. Campus lake, it gave me an excuse- 12 00:03:57,651 --> 00:04:01,781 that, and running out of gas, which I didn't plan. 13 00:04:22,609 --> 00:04:26,045 No signs of trauma on either one of them. 14 00:04:26,112 --> 00:04:28,046 No address on the girl. 15 00:04:28,114 --> 00:04:31,709 But we know she was a hype. Look at the spike tracks on her arm. 16 00:04:31,785 --> 00:04:34,720 That look on Rhiner's face- 17 00:04:34,788 --> 00:04:37,382 Yeah, I know. 18 00:04:37,457 --> 00:04:41,223 Just like that other student we found Thursday- Burdett. 19 00:04:41,294 --> 00:04:44,821 - Like he was scared to death. - We're gonna have to keep that under wraps, 20 00:04:44,898 --> 00:04:47,731 before somebody blows it up into another Hindenburg disaster. 21 00:04:47,801 --> 00:04:51,066 Don't worry. Report's got Burdett dead of natural causes. 22 00:04:51,137 --> 00:04:53,401 Heart attack. Now this kid too? 23 00:04:53,473 --> 00:04:55,634 Well, there's no law against dropping dead. 24 00:04:55,709 --> 00:04:58,234 Captain, what do you think's going on? 25 00:04:58,311 --> 00:05:00,575 Excuse me, Captain. 26 00:05:00,647 --> 00:05:03,514 How long have you been here? Who, me? 27 00:05:03,583 --> 00:05:06,552 - How long? - Oh. Uh- 28 00:05:07,887 --> 00:05:10,378 "No law against dropping dead. " 29 00:05:10,457 --> 00:05:13,392 You put that on the wire and I'll have you eighty-sixed permanently. 30 00:05:13,460 --> 00:05:16,156 I was just passing through. Captain, I'm Rosalind Winters. 31 00:05:16,229 --> 00:05:20,029 Just a minute, just a minute. You want to take another trip in a police car, Kolchak? 32 00:05:20,100 --> 00:05:23,592 I'm Rosalind Winters and- J- Just hush up. Will you shut up? 33 00:05:23,670 --> 00:05:26,901 I take it the department has a formal writ to suppress, huh? 34 00:05:26,973 --> 00:05:31,501 - Who signed it? Who issued it, huh? Who? - I'm Rosalind Winters, reporter for the Blue Monitor. 35 00:05:31,578 --> 00:05:34,547 - The blue what? - The Blue Monitor- the campus weekly. 36 00:05:34,614 --> 00:05:37,082 - Do you have a comment to make? - Well? 37 00:05:37,150 --> 00:05:40,051 Yeah, but you couldn't print it. 38 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:42,054 Come on, Mark. Come on, let's go. 39 00:05:42,122 --> 00:05:44,716 Hi there. My name's Carl Kolchak. We haven't met. You're- 40 00:05:44,791 --> 00:05:47,555 Mark Hansen. Mark Hansen, yes. You were a friend of the deceased, weren't you? 41 00:05:47,627 --> 00:05:49,561 Yeah. Yes, could you tell me- 42 00:05:49,629 --> 00:05:51,563 Look, Kolchak, I gotta tell you something. 43 00:05:51,631 --> 00:05:54,225 Some people dream about retiring. Uh-huh. 44 00:05:54,300 --> 00:05:58,066 I dream about breaking your face. I love you too, Siska. 45 00:05:58,138 --> 00:06:01,835 Listen. How's your therapy coming along? A-okay? Shut up. 46 00:06:04,177 --> 00:06:06,111 Absolutely bananas. 47 00:06:07,247 --> 00:06:09,181 Oh! Uh- Oh, excuse me. 48 00:06:09,249 --> 00:06:11,183 Blue Bird- Blue Monitor. 49 00:06:11,251 --> 00:06:13,185 Blue Monitor. Yeah. Where's the nearest gas station? 50 00:06:13,253 --> 00:06:17,019 About a mile that way. About a mile that way. 51 00:06:17,090 --> 00:06:21,857 You wouldn't happen to have a set of wheels, would you? 52 00:06:21,928 --> 00:06:24,658 Sure. Come on. Yeah? 53 00:06:37,777 --> 00:06:41,645 Listen. When I said "wheels," I meant four. Mm-hmm. 54 00:06:41,715 --> 00:06:44,183 Fill it up? 55 00:06:44,250 --> 00:06:46,912 You know, I've been thinking, Kolchak. 56 00:06:46,986 --> 00:06:51,252 Now you and I could work together on this story, because I know this campus inside out. 57 00:06:51,324 --> 00:06:53,258 Sorry. I always work alone. 58 00:06:53,326 --> 00:06:55,726 Work alone, walk alone. What, now wait. Wait a minute. 59 00:06:55,795 --> 00:06:57,729 Let's talk. Let's talk. 60 00:06:57,797 --> 00:07:00,561 Yeah, we can talk in the cafeteria next week. 61 00:07:00,633 --> 00:07:02,999 Talk or walk, Kolchak. 62 00:07:03,069 --> 00:07:05,162 Well, all right, all right. We'll talk. We'll talk. 63 00:07:05,238 --> 00:07:07,331 But you talk first, right? 64 00:07:07,407 --> 00:07:09,841 I mean, I'm new around here. You're supposed to know this campus backwards. 65 00:07:09,909 --> 00:07:13,504 Well, it's weird, you know? I mean, finding Don Rhiner by that girl's body? 66 00:07:13,580 --> 00:07:15,810 They found Pete Burdett with a dead girl too. 67 00:07:15,882 --> 00:07:19,978 - Well, I didn't hear that. - Well, a good reporter has her contacts. 68 00:07:20,053 --> 00:07:24,319 - Who was the girl? Where was she from? What'd she die of? - Uh, I'm- I'm working on that. 69 00:07:24,390 --> 00:07:26,824 How about some facts? Some names? Dates? 70 00:07:26,893 --> 00:07:28,986 Was she dressed, was she nude, was she half nude? What? 71 00:07:29,062 --> 00:07:31,690 I don't know. What about, uh - What's his name? 72 00:07:31,765 --> 00:07:33,699 Burdett? Burdett, yeah, and Rhiner? 73 00:07:33,767 --> 00:07:35,701 They have any previous history of heart attack? 74 00:07:35,769 --> 00:07:38,033 I don't know! What kind of reporter are you? 75 00:07:38,104 --> 00:07:40,038 I said I was working on it. 76 00:07:40,106 --> 00:07:43,200 When you finish working on it and you get some facts, let me know. 77 00:07:43,276 --> 00:07:47,372 Some collaboration. Some reporter. Well, aren't you gonna- 78 00:07:47,447 --> 00:07:50,041 Wait, wait. Where you - Wait a minute! 79 00:07:50,116 --> 00:07:52,880 Hey, wait! 80 00:07:52,952 --> 00:07:57,218 I can't understand why the Coaches' Association is interested in all this. 81 00:07:57,290 --> 00:08:00,384 We're building a file on unusual heart disease cases, Coach. 82 00:08:00,460 --> 00:08:02,451 You see- I'll be out in a minute. 83 00:08:02,529 --> 00:08:04,497 Now-Now, Coach, you claim that Don Rhiner... 84 00:08:04,564 --> 00:08:06,498 was in perfect physical condition, right? Right, right. 85 00:08:06,566 --> 00:08:09,160 And that you checked out Pete Burdett's medical history, 86 00:08:09,235 --> 00:08:11,829 and he was a picture of health when he tried out for the swimming team, right? 87 00:08:11,905 --> 00:08:14,533 Actually, Burdett never made the team. No? 88 00:08:14,607 --> 00:08:17,405 You see, his butterfly stroke was like an effeminate moth. 89 00:08:17,477 --> 00:08:21,072 - Oh, pity. - Both those boys had perfect E.K.G.'s. 90 00:08:21,147 --> 00:08:24,048 Then how do you explain two young men- two perfect physical specimens- 91 00:08:24,117 --> 00:08:26,051 dropping dead from a heart attack? 92 00:08:26,119 --> 00:08:29,350 Do you want the usual rationalization, or can you handle the truth? 93 00:08:29,422 --> 00:08:32,050 No, I can handle the truth, Coach. Always the truth. 94 00:08:32,125 --> 00:08:35,720 Don Rhiner was a playboy, and he paid the price- bacteria. 95 00:08:35,795 --> 00:08:39,959 - Bacteria? Germ-You mean germs? What kind of germs? - Take your pick. 96 00:08:40,033 --> 00:08:42,695 You see, I'll tell you what I tell all my boys. 97 00:08:42,769 --> 00:08:46,364 There's a war going on, right here inside the body. Right here, huh? 98 00:08:46,439 --> 00:08:50,068 Right. And there are only two basic game plans: 99 00:08:50,143 --> 00:08:52,304 Absolute physical hygiene, 100 00:08:52,378 --> 00:08:55,211 and the other? 101 00:08:57,684 --> 00:08:59,618 Tuna fish? 102 00:08:59,686 --> 00:09:01,711 Tuna fish. 103 00:09:05,191 --> 00:09:08,991 10:25. Craig Donnelly and Betty Walker arrived at Donnelly's apartment... 104 00:09:09,062 --> 00:09:12,691 after dinner and a few too many glasses of champagne. 105 00:09:15,068 --> 00:09:18,663 Wait right here, okay? Okay. 106 00:09:18,738 --> 00:09:23,004 The bubbly had tasted good, but for Betty Walker it might as well have been strychnine. 107 00:09:23,076 --> 00:09:26,170 And away we go! 108 00:09:58,278 --> 00:10:02,271 I need an ambulance. Hurry! 109 00:10:02,348 --> 00:10:04,282 187 Felicity Street. 110 00:10:10,957 --> 00:10:15,189 Oh! 111 00:10:19,933 --> 00:10:22,231 The same night, 11:00 p. m. 112 00:10:22,302 --> 00:10:27,239 The on-campus living quarters of archaeology professor C. Evan Spate. 113 00:10:27,307 --> 00:10:31,243 Spate, a recipient of a coveted Pace Institute grant, 114 00:10:31,311 --> 00:10:34,542 and his student assistant, Mark Hansen, were attempting to discover the meaning... 115 00:10:34,614 --> 00:10:38,072 in a piece of clay some 10,000 years old. 116 00:10:38,151 --> 00:10:40,085 You don't really seem to be with it tonight, Mark. 117 00:10:40,153 --> 00:10:43,247 Why don't you knock off? Yeah, I'm sorry, Dr. Spate. 118 00:10:43,323 --> 00:10:46,087 I guess I'm more upset about Don Rhiner's death than I thought. 119 00:10:46,159 --> 00:10:48,593 Yeah. I think I will knock off. 120 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:57,094 It's coming along. Yes, it is. Good night, Mark. 121 00:10:57,170 --> 00:10:59,104 Good night. 122 00:11:06,779 --> 00:11:10,681 On the night of May 11, they would both make a discovery. 123 00:11:39,479 --> 00:11:42,243 Yes? Hi. 124 00:11:42,315 --> 00:11:45,478 You don't know me, but I wanted to meet you, 125 00:11:45,551 --> 00:11:47,917 and I didn't know anyone to introduce us. 126 00:11:47,987 --> 00:11:50,455 So, uh- 127 00:11:50,523 --> 00:11:52,457 Am I interrupting anything? 128 00:11:53,659 --> 00:11:55,593 No. No, not at all. 129 00:11:55,661 --> 00:11:57,754 Come on in. 130 00:12:07,607 --> 00:12:10,041 Can I tell you something dumb? 131 00:12:10,109 --> 00:12:12,043 Mm-hmm. 132 00:12:12,111 --> 00:12:14,045 I want to touch your face. 133 00:12:15,114 --> 00:12:17,878 I've seen it so many times. 134 00:12:17,950 --> 00:12:21,442 I just want to convince myself I'm really here. 135 00:12:23,122 --> 00:12:25,056 Touch away. 136 00:12:28,294 --> 00:12:30,228 It's a fine face. 137 00:12:39,305 --> 00:12:41,569 Now what time did you see the girl come into this room? 138 00:12:41,641 --> 00:12:43,734 It was about 11:00, 11:30. 139 00:12:43,810 --> 00:12:45,744 Yeah, the news was just off the air. Mm-hmm. 140 00:12:45,812 --> 00:12:49,578 You never saw her before, huh? No. Chicks float in and out of this building like pollen. 141 00:12:49,649 --> 00:12:51,583 But her, now her I'd remember, 142 00:12:51,651 --> 00:12:53,585 but I don't. 143 00:12:53,653 --> 00:12:56,247 Her name was Betty Walker. Does that ring a bell? 144 00:12:56,322 --> 00:13:01,817 Nope. She resided at 602 Weyland Avenue, North Side. 145 00:13:01,894 --> 00:13:04,692 Is that a popular address for the boys in this frat? 146 00:13:04,764 --> 00:13:09,792 No. And it's "fraternity. " We don't call it a frat anymore. 147 00:13:09,869 --> 00:13:11,803 Don't get lippy with me, boy. 148 00:13:11,871 --> 00:13:15,363 I might be tempted to go into your room and kind of poke around. 149 00:13:15,441 --> 00:13:18,239 Might find some funny vegetables in there. 150 00:13:18,311 --> 00:13:22,145 Captain, the girl has a major contusion at the base of her skull. 151 00:13:22,215 --> 00:13:25,548 I think we can attribute death to a severe blow. 152 00:13:25,618 --> 00:13:27,552 What about the boy? 153 00:13:27,620 --> 00:13:29,554 Well, we're gonna need some more tests, 154 00:13:29,622 --> 00:13:31,681 but you can see for yourself the look on his face. 155 00:13:31,757 --> 00:13:34,692 Same as the others- scared. 156 00:13:37,597 --> 00:13:40,395 Kolchak! I'm Rosalind Winters, reporter- 157 00:13:40,466 --> 00:13:43,060 I know who you are! Siska, you can't have that cassette! 158 00:13:43,136 --> 00:13:45,229 You get your hands - You can't have that cassette! 159 00:13:45,304 --> 00:13:47,238 You can't interfere with the law. You can't do that! 160 00:13:47,306 --> 00:13:49,433 That's an abridgement of the First and the Fourth Amendment. 161 00:13:49,509 --> 00:13:53,240 You can't - One more word out of you, and I will book you on illegal entry. 162 00:13:53,312 --> 00:13:55,576 Now you get out of here. I'm gonna bring you up on charges with the ACLU. 163 00:13:55,648 --> 00:13:57,912 And take Tonto with you. Go, Tonto! 164 00:13:57,984 --> 00:13:59,918 Aw, shut up! 165 00:14:02,622 --> 00:14:04,556 Big fink ought to go back into therapy. 166 00:14:04,624 --> 00:14:07,024 Hey, Kolchak, you still owe me. Consider ourselves even, Tonto. 167 00:14:07,093 --> 00:14:10,324 Well, what about that lunch you promised me? 168 00:14:14,267 --> 00:14:16,201 May 11, 12:15 p. m. 169 00:14:16,269 --> 00:14:18,863 My first stop had been Betty Walker's apartment. 170 00:14:18,938 --> 00:14:21,873 Number two was an address furnished me by Betty's roommate- 171 00:14:21,941 --> 00:14:23,909 the apartment of Craig H. Donnelly. 172 00:14:23,976 --> 00:14:27,377 So then what happened? I ran up to that phone and called for an ambulance. 173 00:14:27,446 --> 00:14:29,380 When I came back down, she was gone. 174 00:14:29,448 --> 00:14:31,712 Well, maybe- Maybe she was still conscious. 175 00:14:31,784 --> 00:14:33,718 I spent three years in Vietnam. 176 00:14:33,786 --> 00:14:36,880 I know when someone's dead- and Betty was dead. 177 00:14:36,956 --> 00:14:39,049 How could she just disappear like that? 178 00:14:39,125 --> 00:14:41,059 Maybe somebody carted her off. 179 00:14:41,127 --> 00:14:44,062 What, in 30, 40 seconds? No way. 180 00:14:44,130 --> 00:14:47,566 Besides, this place was quiet- deserted. 181 00:14:47,633 --> 00:14:50,568 All I know is, I'll never forget seeing her gone. 182 00:14:50,636 --> 00:14:53,070 And that smell. What smell? 183 00:14:53,139 --> 00:14:55,903 You ever been around a war, Kolchak? Yeah, a couple of them. 184 00:14:55,975 --> 00:14:58,068 Then maybe you'll know what I'm talking about. 185 00:14:58,144 --> 00:15:00,112 Smells like death. 186 00:15:01,747 --> 00:15:03,681 Oh, yeah. 187 00:15:55,968 --> 00:15:59,529 Good afternoon. Wait your turn, please. 188 00:16:02,241 --> 00:16:04,835 May I... help you? 189 00:16:04,910 --> 00:16:07,970 Yeah. My name's Kolchak. I'm with Internal Affairs. 190 00:16:08,047 --> 00:16:10,345 I've come for those records. What records? 191 00:16:10,416 --> 00:16:13,977 What do you mean, what records? You mean to tell me that P.R. Didn't contact you through I. A? 192 00:16:14,053 --> 00:16:17,022 What's the matter? Are you new here or something? 193 00:16:17,089 --> 00:16:20,252 P.R. Never goes through I.A. What? 194 00:16:20,326 --> 00:16:24,023 Sure, P.R. Can go to G.S., and then go through I.A., but never directly. 195 00:16:24,096 --> 00:16:26,030 Well, that's exactly what I meant. 196 00:16:26,098 --> 00:16:28,862 Now, I've got a court order here for the school records... 197 00:16:28,934 --> 00:16:32,028 of Peter Burdett and Don Rhiner and Mark Hansen. 198 00:16:32,104 --> 00:16:34,334 One more step, and I put a staple... 199 00:16:34,407 --> 00:16:37,342 right through that necktie to your backbone. You'd do it too. 200 00:16:37,410 --> 00:16:40,709 All court orders have to go through C.L.D. 201 00:16:40,780 --> 00:16:45,877 That's the blue long form, JS-6, with Dean Sweeney's initials. 202 00:16:45,951 --> 00:16:48,283 You know, the long blue form. Mm-hmm. 203 00:16:48,354 --> 00:16:51,050 They may try to give you a short yellow and palm that off on you. 204 00:16:51,123 --> 00:16:54,559 Don't let 'em do it. You tell 'em you want a JS-6, you hear me? 205 00:16:54,627 --> 00:16:56,561 Mm-hmm. 206 00:16:56,629 --> 00:16:58,563 Security? I thought you said I.A. 207 00:16:58,631 --> 00:17:01,498 As far as anybody else is concerned around here, I am I.A. 208 00:17:01,567 --> 00:17:03,364 Oh. Oh. 209 00:17:03,436 --> 00:17:06,997 Ah! Nobody goes in there. 210 00:17:08,574 --> 00:17:10,508 All right. 211 00:17:10,576 --> 00:17:14,012 Now you just fill out this form, nice and legibly. 212 00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:16,014 Mm-hmm. Okay. 213 00:17:16,082 --> 00:17:18,642 No. 214 00:17:20,252 --> 00:17:23,847 I said legibly. Legibly. Okay. 215 00:17:23,923 --> 00:17:27,518 K- O-L- 216 00:17:27,593 --> 00:17:29,618 Good? Mm-hmm. Good. 217 00:17:29,695 --> 00:17:31,629 Forms 22- 218 00:17:58,057 --> 00:18:02,653 "They bombed in London's theater district. " Nine letters. 219 00:18:02,728 --> 00:18:05,128 I thought you said crossword puzzles were for fools. 220 00:18:05,197 --> 00:18:09,258 Well, I do have to check on people's work around here, don't I? Even though it's very boring. 221 00:18:09,335 --> 00:18:13,669 "They bombed in London's theater district. " 222 00:18:13,739 --> 00:18:17,140 Let's see. Oh! The Old Vic. The Old Vic Company. 223 00:18:17,209 --> 00:18:19,837 Something like that. "Luftwaffe. '" Right! 224 00:18:19,912 --> 00:18:23,006 You see, Mr. Vincenzo, every puzzle has to have a theme, 225 00:18:23,082 --> 00:18:25,516 and the theme of this puzzle is World War II. 226 00:18:25,584 --> 00:18:27,518 Oh, how cheery. 227 00:18:28,587 --> 00:18:31,215 Have you screwed up the filing system again? Of course. 228 00:18:33,926 --> 00:18:37,054 Well, Kolchak, welcome home. 229 00:18:37,129 --> 00:18:40,189 Now where have you been all day? At the county morgue, for one place. 230 00:18:40,266 --> 00:18:43,394 What a gala group this is. You come in and out as you please. 231 00:18:43,469 --> 00:18:45,403 You're a regular bon vivant, aren't you? 232 00:18:45,471 --> 00:18:50,636 Tony, did you know that Don Rhiner, the All-American prospect from Tech, was found dead... 233 00:18:50,709 --> 00:18:53,678 - of a heart attack at age 20? - Yes. I don't want to hear anything more about it. 234 00:18:53,746 --> 00:18:56,237 - You already know about it then? - Yeah, with a girl, right? 235 00:18:56,315 --> 00:18:58,249 It's tragic. It's very tragic. Yeah. 236 00:18:58,317 --> 00:19:00,717 That kid could really find a hole and go right through the line. 237 00:19:00,786 --> 00:19:02,981 Yeah, but the girl is the interesting part, Tony. 238 00:19:03,055 --> 00:19:05,148 You see, her name was Marlene Franks. She was a junkie. 239 00:19:05,224 --> 00:19:07,988 She died from an overdose eight hours - I don't want to hear about it. 240 00:19:08,060 --> 00:19:10,893 Eight hours before Don Rhiner died. 241 00:19:10,963 --> 00:19:12,988 Now last week, Peter Burdett, another healthy student, 242 00:19:13,065 --> 00:19:16,933 was found dead in the arms of a girl, but she had been dead from a brain aneurysm. 243 00:19:17,002 --> 00:19:21,132 - Huh? Now, they didn't release that, Tony. - Well, no wonder. 244 00:19:21,207 --> 00:19:24,768 In the '60s, the kids used to bust windows and pelt Marine recruiters with rotten fruit. 245 00:19:24,844 --> 00:19:26,778 Now that was bad enough. 246 00:19:26,846 --> 00:19:30,714 But today it seems that every school is an extension campus of Weirdsville University. 247 00:19:30,783 --> 00:19:35,345 - No, no, Tony- - It's days like this that make me wish I'd stuck to playing the drums. 248 00:19:35,421 --> 00:19:38,857 I didn't know you played. Oh, back in the '40s in college, sure. 249 00:19:38,924 --> 00:19:43,020 Playing drums? You playing drums? Yes, that's right. 250 00:19:43,095 --> 00:19:45,029 You haven't got a syncopated bone in your body. 251 00:19:45,097 --> 00:19:47,361 You walk off-rhythm. What are you talking about? 252 00:19:47,433 --> 00:19:50,596 I had a band of my own- Tony Vincenzo's Neapolitans. 253 00:19:52,671 --> 00:19:57,699 We won the Westchester County battle-of-the-bands contest in 1940. 254 00:19:57,776 --> 00:20:00,210 And our rendition of"Stomping at the Savoy"... 255 00:20:00,279 --> 00:20:02,213 brought the house down. 256 00:20:02,281 --> 00:20:06,217 - I'll bet it did. - Yes, it did. Should have stuck to it. 257 00:20:06,285 --> 00:20:09,880 Lately I've been getting very disheartened with the news service. 258 00:20:09,955 --> 00:20:12,185 - Wait a minute, Tony. - I don't want to hear any more morbidity. 259 00:20:12,258 --> 00:20:14,192 Yeah, well, who does? 260 00:20:14,260 --> 00:20:16,194 But, Tony, last night another kid, named Mark Hansen- 261 00:20:16,262 --> 00:20:18,730 You're sending me into a blue funk. 262 00:20:18,797 --> 00:20:21,561 He got- He-He-He got killed too. 263 00:20:21,634 --> 00:20:23,966 Now Hansen had been working as an associate, 264 00:20:24,036 --> 00:20:27,870 helping out Professor C. Evan Spate, an archaeologist... So? 265 00:20:27,940 --> 00:20:31,398 Who's busy deciphering some ancient clay tablets... 266 00:20:31,477 --> 00:20:34,913 that were discovered in the Near East by Dr. Julius Whitehead. 267 00:20:34,980 --> 00:20:36,914 Whitehead-Julius Whitehead? Yeah. 268 00:20:36,982 --> 00:20:38,916 Didn't we carry an item on him recently? 269 00:20:38,984 --> 00:20:41,111 He found something in a desert somewhere and went bananas? 270 00:20:41,186 --> 00:20:43,347 - Yeah. Iraq. - What? 271 00:20:43,422 --> 00:20:45,583 - He went bananas in Iraq. - He should have stayed in Chicago. 272 00:20:45,658 --> 00:20:48,923 The same thing would have happened. He would have saved travel expenses and jet lag. 273 00:20:48,994 --> 00:20:52,987 That's only part of what happened to this Whitehead expedition. 274 00:20:53,065 --> 00:20:55,090 It says here in the article that he had two assistants that- 275 00:20:55,167 --> 00:20:57,192 Basta. Basta, Carl. Basta. That's enough. 276 00:20:57,269 --> 00:20:59,965 Enough. Now the conversation is over. 277 00:21:00,039 --> 00:21:03,702 - Now, look. I've considered a shift in policy. - Shift? 278 00:21:03,776 --> 00:21:06,768 Why should we always accentuate the gruesome and the sensationalism? 279 00:21:06,845 --> 00:21:10,337 I think we might be very happy, and probably take a chunk out of our competition... 280 00:21:10,416 --> 00:21:14,512 if we tried, really tried, to seek out the good news. 281 00:21:14,587 --> 00:21:17,715 - Good news? - Carl, wrap up the story you're working on. 282 00:21:17,790 --> 00:21:20,281 Bring it to an upbeat conclusion. 283 00:21:20,359 --> 00:21:24,022 Then find out what and who is responsible for the death of those fine American young boys. 284 00:21:24,096 --> 00:21:26,792 You understand that? And then tell the public that the campuses... 285 00:21:26,865 --> 00:21:28,799 are all cleaned up. 286 00:21:28,867 --> 00:21:31,392 And then I'm gonna find an assignment for you... 287 00:21:31,470 --> 00:21:34,303 that's gonna be uplifting and happy. 288 00:21:34,373 --> 00:21:36,671 Upbeat. Happy. 289 00:21:36,742 --> 00:21:38,676 Yeah. What would you say to a feature series... 290 00:21:38,744 --> 00:21:41,577 about the wit and humor of Chicago? 291 00:21:41,647 --> 00:21:44,582 Bone-tickling anecdotes of the city's history. 292 00:21:44,650 --> 00:21:46,584 He didn't have to go to the desert. 293 00:21:46,652 --> 00:21:48,586 And I think that- 294 00:21:50,789 --> 00:21:53,257 Yes, that's excellent, and that- 295 00:21:53,325 --> 00:21:55,919 Oh, yeah, no doubt of that. Yes, yes. Fascinating, fascinating. 296 00:21:55,995 --> 00:21:59,260 May I say, by the way, that you're a very generous man? 297 00:21:59,331 --> 00:22:02,198 You're to be congratulated for having a younger, inexperienced man like Mark- 298 00:22:02,267 --> 00:22:04,201 Uh, what was his name? Mark Hansen. 299 00:22:04,269 --> 00:22:07,033 Hansen, yes. Allowing him to participate in this important project. 300 00:22:07,106 --> 00:22:11,372 You know what I was doing with Mark, Mr. Kolchak? No, actually, I don't. 301 00:22:11,443 --> 00:22:14,378 I was trying to give him a taste of antiquity, 302 00:22:14,446 --> 00:22:17,040 hoping he'd catch the bug, as it were. It is infectious, isn't it? 303 00:22:17,116 --> 00:22:20,210 Yeah. Yes. Now, Professor, as we understand it, 304 00:22:20,285 --> 00:22:23,049 you're on a grant from a medical science institute... 305 00:22:23,122 --> 00:22:25,215 to translate this tablet, is that correct? 306 00:22:25,290 --> 00:22:27,383 Yes. Uh- 307 00:22:27,459 --> 00:22:30,223 Whitehead, as you know, stumbled over this... Stumbled. 308 00:22:30,295 --> 00:22:33,389 In the Lower Valley between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers of Iraq. 309 00:22:33,465 --> 00:22:35,399 Yes, yes, the Mesopotamian Empire. 310 00:22:35,467 --> 00:22:39,904 At first, this tablet was thought to be just a remnant of the Dead Sea finds, 311 00:22:39,972 --> 00:22:42,133 but these symbols are definitely Sumerian. 312 00:22:42,207 --> 00:22:44,141 Mm-hmm! Hmm! 313 00:22:44,209 --> 00:22:46,905 Oh, yes, absolutely Sumerian, yeah. 314 00:22:46,979 --> 00:22:51,075 Now, as you can see also, it's only about a quarter of the way complete, 315 00:22:51,150 --> 00:22:54,244 but it seems to be some sort of, uh, 316 00:22:54,319 --> 00:22:58,312 religious rite or, uh, maybe even a form of recipe. 317 00:22:58,390 --> 00:23:00,756 Recipe, yes, yes. I can see that, yes. 318 00:23:00,826 --> 00:23:03,818 I notice the symbol for "mint'"... 319 00:23:03,896 --> 00:23:06,023 that you've translated so very well down here. Mm-hmm. 320 00:23:06,098 --> 00:23:09,033 Yes, it's probably some preparation for lamb. 321 00:23:09,101 --> 00:23:11,194 Uh, yeah. Yes. 322 00:23:11,270 --> 00:23:15,366 I, uh - One of these symbols no doubt translates as "jelly. " 323 00:23:15,441 --> 00:23:17,375 Hmm. Yeah. Mint jelly. 324 00:23:17,443 --> 00:23:19,707 But I haven't been able to crack it yet. Oh, well, you will in time. 325 00:23:19,778 --> 00:23:22,713 But I doubt very much it was jelly, actually. 326 00:23:22,781 --> 00:23:26,717 You see, they had no gelatinous substance at that time, except, of course, calves' feet. 327 00:23:26,785 --> 00:23:28,719 They didn't use that very much. 328 00:23:28,787 --> 00:23:31,551 I would assume it would be a sauce- mint sauce. 329 00:23:31,623 --> 00:23:35,218 The mint here has nothing to do with leg of lamb, Mr. Kolchak. 330 00:23:35,294 --> 00:23:39,458 This formula is concerned with the rendering and the minting... 331 00:23:39,531 --> 00:23:41,761 of precious metals by divine means. 332 00:23:41,834 --> 00:23:45,065 Oh, yes, I - You don't really work for the Archaeological Quarterly, do you? 333 00:23:45,137 --> 00:23:48,402 Well, yes, of course. Certainly I do. Yes. Yes. Part-time. Uh-huh. 334 00:23:48,474 --> 00:23:51,238 What occupies you full-time? 335 00:23:51,310 --> 00:23:54,245 Independent News Service. Oh, yeah, right. 336 00:23:54,313 --> 00:23:56,907 I'd like you to leave, Mr. Kolchak. 337 00:23:56,982 --> 00:24:01,248 You can be sure that I'll be talking to your editor about this little charade. 338 00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:05,780 Oh, good. He's in the mood for some bone-tickling anecdotes. 339 00:24:05,858 --> 00:24:08,520 But let me bring up something to your attention that's not so funny. 340 00:24:08,594 --> 00:24:12,655 According to student records, not only did the late Mark Hansen work for you, 341 00:24:12,731 --> 00:24:14,699 but Peter Burdett was in a class that you teach. 342 00:24:14,767 --> 00:24:16,701 And the late Don Rhiner was one of Mark's best friends. 343 00:24:16,769 --> 00:24:18,999 The police have already talked to me about that coincidence. 344 00:24:19,071 --> 00:24:21,539 There wasn't much I could offer them. Oh. Oh. 345 00:24:21,607 --> 00:24:25,202 They apologized for taking my time, then they left. I'd like you to do the same. 346 00:24:25,277 --> 00:24:30,681 - Maybe you could offer me something on another coincidence. - Would you get up out of that chair, please? 347 00:24:30,749 --> 00:24:33,047 The bad luck the Whitehead expedition appeared to be plagued with- 348 00:24:33,118 --> 00:24:35,586 It seems that his young assistant dropped dead of a heart attack too. 349 00:24:35,654 --> 00:24:39,215 I can't explain that. I am an archaeologist, not a cardiologist. 350 00:24:39,291 --> 00:24:42,351 - Would you please leave! - Well, I can't. 351 00:24:42,427 --> 00:24:44,418 You see, the door's locked. 352 00:24:46,965 --> 00:24:49,593 - Give me that film. - What film? 353 00:24:49,668 --> 00:24:51,898 I'm not going to get physical with you, but I'll tell you this. 354 00:24:51,970 --> 00:24:54,905 If you even attempt to publish a photograph of that tablet, 355 00:24:54,973 --> 00:24:57,237 I'll sue those seersucker pants right off your can. 356 00:24:57,309 --> 00:24:59,743 Now get out of here! Dr. Spate, could you tell me, 357 00:24:59,812 --> 00:25:02,337 why do you think a man ofJulius Whitehead's reputation... 358 00:25:02,414 --> 00:25:04,348 suddenly went berserk in the Iraqi desert? 359 00:25:04,416 --> 00:25:06,509 If you knew Whitehead, 360 00:25:06,585 --> 00:25:10,077 you'd understand that he went berserk long before he got to Iraq. 361 00:25:10,155 --> 00:25:12,248 Some of us are scientists, Mr. Kolchak, 362 00:25:12,324 --> 00:25:15,760 but all Whitehead ever had going for him was dumb, blundering luck. 363 00:25:15,828 --> 00:25:19,355 But if you look around, you'll see that he's not here to translate the tablet. 364 00:25:19,431 --> 00:25:23,197 - I am. - Congratulations. 365 00:25:23,268 --> 00:25:25,202 I'm going. 366 00:25:32,611 --> 00:25:35,045 May 12, 5:45 p. m. 367 00:25:35,113 --> 00:25:38,708 Maria Vanegas, 20, entertainer in an after-hours cafe, 368 00:25:38,784 --> 00:25:42,220 was perpetually tired from the hours she kept. 369 00:25:43,956 --> 00:25:45,890 When she arrived home early that morning, 370 00:25:45,958 --> 00:25:48,722 she'd put on some coffee, stretched out to rest her eyes, 371 00:25:48,794 --> 00:25:51,888 And waited for the gas burner to get the coffee good and hot. 372 00:25:51,964 --> 00:25:56,867 The coffee never got hot, and Maria grew very, very cold. 373 00:26:24,096 --> 00:26:26,564 Maria? 374 00:26:27,766 --> 00:26:31,099 Maria? Que pasa? 375 00:26:32,437 --> 00:26:34,371 Maria? 376 00:26:49,221 --> 00:26:51,155 Maria. 377 00:26:53,292 --> 00:26:55,226 Dios mio. 378 00:26:55,294 --> 00:26:57,785 Carlos! Carlos! 379 00:26:57,863 --> 00:26:59,797 Ven pronto! Carlos! 380 00:27:00,966 --> 00:27:03,196 Carlos! Carlos! 381 00:27:03,268 --> 00:27:05,202 Carlos, ven pronto. 382 00:27:05,270 --> 00:27:07,636 Que paso? Maria esta muerta. Muy pronto. 383 00:27:53,785 --> 00:27:59,553 "Asmodeus, chief of demons, creator of all lesser demons, both male and female. " 384 00:27:59,624 --> 00:28:03,993 Hey! I could use that. How do you spell his name, this Asmo-what's-it? 385 00:28:04,062 --> 00:28:06,826 Oh, Asmodeus? Yeah, Asmo- A- S-M-O-D-E-U-S. 386 00:28:06,898 --> 00:28:08,832 Asmodeus. Eight letters, honey. 387 00:28:08,900 --> 00:28:10,993 Eight letters, eight letters. Mm-hmm. 388 00:28:11,069 --> 00:28:13,833 Uh, chief of demons. That's right, chief of demons. 389 00:28:13,905 --> 00:28:15,839 "Like their creator Asmodeus, 390 00:28:15,907 --> 00:28:18,171 "demons can take on many guises, 391 00:28:18,243 --> 00:28:20,507 "but are often pictured as horrible creatures... 392 00:28:20,579 --> 00:28:23,013 "accompanied by a foul stench... 393 00:28:23,081 --> 00:28:28,348 "which they give off at moments of diabolic excitement or activity- 394 00:28:28,420 --> 00:28:33,016 a stench of corruption, rot and noxious brimstone. " 395 00:28:33,091 --> 00:28:35,685 Brimstone! Oh, great. I can use that. 396 00:28:35,761 --> 00:28:38,696 "Ahra Manyu-Ahra Manyu. " 397 00:28:38,764 --> 00:28:41,028 All right, listen up. Listen up, everybody. Ahra Manyu? 398 00:28:41,099 --> 00:28:43,863 Listen up. I just dropped my idea in the well, 399 00:28:43,935 --> 00:28:46,870 and you should have heard the splash it made with New York. 400 00:28:46,938 --> 00:28:51,204 From now on, we are gonna make our best effort to write our stories... 401 00:28:51,276 --> 00:28:54,211 with dignity, grace and humor. 402 00:28:54,279 --> 00:28:56,713 And we are gonna devote as much time as we can to finding stories... 403 00:28:56,782 --> 00:28:59,717 that are dignified and graceful and humorous in the main. 404 00:28:59,785 --> 00:29:01,650 Aha! "Arhu Manyu. " Aha. 405 00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:05,816 "Persian for Eblis, the devil, the prince of fiends. " 406 00:29:05,891 --> 00:29:08,985 Carl, Carl. What station are you tuned into? What? 407 00:29:09,061 --> 00:29:11,825 How is the prince of fiends gonna fit into my new directives? 408 00:29:11,897 --> 00:29:13,831 How is it gonna do that? 409 00:29:13,899 --> 00:29:16,663 Oh, well, the three students that were killed out at Tech? 410 00:29:16,735 --> 00:29:19,829 Well, they were all related, more or less, to Dr, Spate, you know, 411 00:29:19,905 --> 00:29:22,339 who's translating the Sumerian cuneiform... 412 00:29:22,407 --> 00:29:24,671 in the Whitehead tablet. 413 00:29:24,743 --> 00:29:28,179 Yeah, oh, here's what - Here's what the tablet says. I got a picture of it. 414 00:29:28,246 --> 00:29:33,183 "The prince of fiends decrees. The chief of demons executes. " 415 00:29:33,251 --> 00:29:35,185 No, listen to this, Tony. Listen to this. 416 00:29:35,253 --> 00:29:38,017 "Death shall reside throughout"- Someone, something. 417 00:29:38,090 --> 00:29:40,183 See, I can't translate that. It hasn't been translated yet. 418 00:29:40,258 --> 00:29:43,352 Someone - Uh, "She shall have reign. " See, Tony? 419 00:29:43,428 --> 00:29:46,363 Carl, I don't care what the tablet actually is, 420 00:29:46,431 --> 00:29:50,197 whether it's an ancient guest record of the "Nebanezzar" Motel or what. 421 00:29:50,268 --> 00:29:52,202 Nebuchadnezzar. Now- Now- 422 00:29:52,270 --> 00:29:54,534 How is this drivel gonna help you... 423 00:29:54,606 --> 00:29:57,541 write up your story and complete it, about these terrible deaths? 424 00:29:57,609 --> 00:30:02,046 Well, it-it says that she shall have reign, Tony. Now, who is "she"? 425 00:30:02,114 --> 00:30:04,548 I mean, all these kids were found with their arms around dead women, 426 00:30:04,616 --> 00:30:06,550 but nobody knows how they got there. 427 00:30:06,618 --> 00:30:09,883 Carl, this doesn't make any sense at all. It is not dignified. It is not graceful. 428 00:30:09,955 --> 00:30:12,719 It is a downer- a downer! 429 00:30:12,791 --> 00:30:14,884 You know- You know something? 430 00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:18,054 I think the good Dr. Spate might know. I mean, he's been living with those tablets. 431 00:30:18,130 --> 00:30:20,758 I'll have to talk to him about it. Carl, look. 432 00:30:20,832 --> 00:30:22,925 Ron has been doing some preliminary research... 433 00:30:23,001 --> 00:30:25,060 on humorous anecdotes about Chicago's past. Terrific. 434 00:30:25,137 --> 00:30:27,230 Now I wish you two would get your heads together... 435 00:30:27,305 --> 00:30:30,240 and try to cooperate for a change. 436 00:30:30,308 --> 00:30:32,242 I have an item. Good. What is it? 437 00:30:32,310 --> 00:30:35,404 "In 1804, before" - Ron? Will you get your book off my desk, please? 438 00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:38,745 Thank you very much. 439 00:30:38,817 --> 00:30:42,913 "In 1804, before Illinois gained statehood, 440 00:30:42,988 --> 00:30:45,081 "Territorial Governor Isaac Lipton... 441 00:30:45,157 --> 00:30:47,091 "declared on Christmas Eve... Yes? 442 00:30:47,159 --> 00:30:49,093 "That all prisoners in the territorial prison... 443 00:30:49,161 --> 00:30:51,129 "should receive a pardon. Yes? 444 00:30:51,196 --> 00:30:54,290 "As soon as the pardon was put into effect, one malefactor- 445 00:30:54,366 --> 00:30:56,300 "a Samuel Coggins- Mm-hmm. 446 00:30:56,368 --> 00:30:58,427 "Went to the governor's home to thank him. 447 00:30:58,503 --> 00:31:00,437 "He was invited to dinner, served some alcohol, 448 00:31:00,505 --> 00:31:02,871 "and wound up robbing the governor at gunpoint... 449 00:31:02,941 --> 00:31:05,967 and burning the house to the ground. " 450 00:31:06,044 --> 00:31:10,538 No sign of deceased. Please contact Homicide Unit Baker 80. 451 00:31:10,615 --> 00:31:13,277 Repeat: Unit Charlie Delta 4, 452 00:31:13,351 --> 00:31:16,218 we've got an accidental death at 404 North Von Steuben. 453 00:31:16,288 --> 00:31:21,021 No sign of deceased. Please contact Homicide Unit Baker 80. 454 00:31:21,092 --> 00:31:23,890 Did you hear that? Huh, Tony? Did you hear that? 455 00:31:23,962 --> 00:31:26,897 Another vanishing corpse. I tell you. We're in luck. 456 00:31:26,965 --> 00:31:30,230 It's terrific! Another vanishing corpse. 457 00:31:30,302 --> 00:31:33,237 Another vanishing corpse and he gets excited. 458 00:31:33,305 --> 00:31:36,240 Another vanishing corpse. That's all New York has to hear about. 459 00:31:36,308 --> 00:31:39,175 Another vanishing corpse! That'll do it! 460 00:31:43,481 --> 00:31:45,415 All right, the girl was probably still alive, 461 00:31:45,483 --> 00:31:47,417 and you came in, you opened the window. 462 00:31:47,485 --> 00:31:49,749 The air revived her and she got up and she walked away. 463 00:31:49,821 --> 00:31:52,255 No, senor. I have worked in a hospital for ten years now. 464 00:31:52,324 --> 00:31:54,258 I know the dead when I see them. 465 00:31:54,326 --> 00:31:56,260 Is this the lady, ma'am? Yes, that is Maria. 466 00:31:56,328 --> 00:31:58,728 There ought to be a law that only police can have police radios. 467 00:31:58,797 --> 00:32:01,357 Write your congressman. Did you smell something rotten when you came in? 468 00:32:01,433 --> 00:32:04,368 Well, of course she did. She smelled gas. No, senor. 469 00:32:04,436 --> 00:32:08,202 Not gas. It was... horrible. Aha! 470 00:32:08,273 --> 00:32:11,367 - What does the stink have to do with it? - I don't know yet. I'm not sure. 471 00:32:11,443 --> 00:32:14,879 But do you have an answer as to why three young males should drop dead from coronaries? 472 00:32:14,946 --> 00:32:17,676 Yeah. You remember the Tomosito-Bockner murders? 473 00:32:17,749 --> 00:32:21,185 Yeah. Remember how we all thought they were heart attacks? 474 00:32:21,253 --> 00:32:25,883 A couple of years later it was proven it was a massive overdose of cyanide delivered at close range. 475 00:32:25,957 --> 00:32:29,552 Are you telling me that the mob killed these kids? Murder, Incorporated goes to college? 476 00:32:29,628 --> 00:32:33,394 Come on. What about the girls? Obviously a psychotic involved. 477 00:32:33,465 --> 00:32:37,060 Oh, so now it's no longer Murder, Incorporated, it's a lunatic. 478 00:32:37,135 --> 00:32:39,069 All right, let's just follow this thing through. 479 00:32:39,137 --> 00:32:41,731 This lunatic follows Murder, Incorporated around the campus, 480 00:32:41,806 --> 00:32:44,240 and then, whenever they give a kid a snootful of cyanide, 481 00:32:44,309 --> 00:32:46,243 this nut- this loony- 482 00:32:46,311 --> 00:32:50,509 puts a girl's corpse down next to the body so it doesn't get lonesome. 483 00:32:50,582 --> 00:32:53,244 Carstairs, will you get this man out of here! 484 00:32:53,318 --> 00:32:55,309 I'm going, I'm going. 485 00:32:56,321 --> 00:32:59,688 If that's your story, I think that you're gonna need a little more work on it. 486 00:32:59,758 --> 00:33:01,692 Out! 487 00:33:21,713 --> 00:33:25,706 It's open. 488 00:33:32,457 --> 00:33:35,551 Ah, Michael. Good of you to come. 489 00:33:35,627 --> 00:33:37,891 It's my pleasure. 490 00:33:37,962 --> 00:33:41,398 Well- Uh- 491 00:33:41,466 --> 00:33:44,958 What do you think? Tickle the old curiosity? 492 00:33:46,638 --> 00:33:48,572 Yes. It sure does. 493 00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:52,770 How's your extracurricular schedule? It's not too heavy. 494 00:33:52,844 --> 00:33:56,803 Too bad about Mark Hansen, but with him gone, I'll need another assistant. 495 00:33:56,881 --> 00:33:59,281 Life does go on, Michael. 496 00:33:59,351 --> 00:34:02,514 Look, uh, I appreciate the opportunity. 497 00:34:02,587 --> 00:34:04,521 Good. Okay. 498 00:34:04,589 --> 00:34:07,524 For a start, why not go over to the anthropology lab... 499 00:34:07,592 --> 00:34:12,359 and get a copy of Whitehead's Persia- 500 00:34:12,430 --> 00:34:14,364 Michael. 501 00:34:14,432 --> 00:34:18,129 Where are your manners? Who is this incredibly beautiful creature? 502 00:34:18,203 --> 00:34:20,535 I just met her at the bookstore. She's really something, isn't she? 503 00:34:20,605 --> 00:34:25,201 Uh, Maria? Well, please, come in. 504 00:34:25,276 --> 00:34:28,370 Professor, this is, uh- 505 00:34:28,446 --> 00:34:30,380 This is Maria Vanegas. 506 00:34:30,448 --> 00:34:32,382 Well, my pleasure. 507 00:35:04,416 --> 00:35:07,351 Now, why'd you have to go and do something like that, like he's a freak or something? 508 00:35:07,419 --> 00:35:10,183 I'm sorry, Michael. You're sorry? 509 00:35:10,255 --> 00:35:13,019 I'm sorry! 510 00:35:13,091 --> 00:35:15,025 Michael! 511 00:35:47,125 --> 00:35:50,094 You again. 512 00:35:50,161 --> 00:35:52,391 Get out! Did you see a girl out here? 513 00:35:52,464 --> 00:35:54,898 No, I did not. Well, I saw her. 514 00:35:54,966 --> 00:35:57,901 Yeah, she was standing right out there. 515 00:35:57,969 --> 00:36:01,336 This is Evan Spate. Would you please send a security car to my home? 516 00:36:01,406 --> 00:36:04,500 I have a trespasser. Thank you. Maybe a girl by the name of Maria Vanegas. 517 00:36:04,576 --> 00:36:06,669 She was dead. A dead girl? 518 00:36:06,744 --> 00:36:08,678 Yeah. Dead girl. 519 00:36:08,746 --> 00:36:12,773 How have you managed to survive in the news business being such an imbecile? 520 00:36:12,851 --> 00:36:14,819 Your yard smelled bad enough to send rats back to Detroit. 521 00:36:14,886 --> 00:36:17,855 My dog, King Tut, sometimes brings home dead prey. 522 00:36:17,922 --> 00:36:20,288 Yeah, well, does your dog also bring home demons? 523 00:36:20,358 --> 00:36:22,349 "Succubus. " Does your prattle never end? 524 00:36:22,427 --> 00:36:24,361 It says "succubus. '" That's new. 525 00:36:24,429 --> 00:36:28,365 What is a succubus, huh? Is a succubus the "she" that the Sumerians were writing about? 526 00:36:28,433 --> 00:36:31,197 Is that what drove Professor Whitehead crazy out in the Iraqi desert? 527 00:36:31,269 --> 00:36:33,203 Did he see a succubus? 528 00:36:33,271 --> 00:36:36,206 Whitehead was and is a senile old fool. 529 00:36:36,274 --> 00:36:39,038 He claims he saw all kinds of things out in the desert. 530 00:36:39,110 --> 00:36:42,876 He is now a ward of the state, and he's still seeing them, no doubt. 531 00:36:42,947 --> 00:36:46,610 I don't believe in any of it, not in demons rising from the desert floor, 532 00:36:46,684 --> 00:36:48,652 not in mysterious heart attacks... 533 00:36:48,720 --> 00:36:51,553 or stenches, not in walking dead girls. 534 00:36:51,623 --> 00:36:55,218 I believe in this tablet as an anthropological find and nothing more, 535 00:36:55,293 --> 00:36:57,386 and I believe in my talent as a translator, 536 00:36:57,462 --> 00:36:59,396 And that's all I believe in. 537 00:36:59,464 --> 00:37:02,331 Terrific. That's terrific. 538 00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:05,892 Now can you answer me one question? What is a succubus? 539 00:37:07,906 --> 00:37:10,238 Uh, have a nice evening. 540 00:37:12,210 --> 00:37:15,668 The campus directory listed a plethora of departments... 541 00:37:15,747 --> 00:37:17,681 that might have given me some answers, 542 00:37:17,749 --> 00:37:20,183 but it was late and it was a weekend, 543 00:37:20,251 --> 00:37:22,845 and none of them were too thrilled with my phone calls- 544 00:37:22,921 --> 00:37:25,355 none, that is, except Dr. Salem Mozart... 545 00:37:25,423 --> 00:37:30,588 and the Department of Classical Ethnology - no longer accredited. 546 00:37:31,763 --> 00:37:34,197 What am I gonna do with six magazine subscriptions? 547 00:37:34,265 --> 00:37:36,699 Read them, of course. Share them with loved ones. 548 00:37:36,768 --> 00:37:38,998 I have no loved ones. I have no money. 549 00:37:39,070 --> 00:37:42,369 Oh, the company will bill you by mail, by computer. 550 00:37:42,440 --> 00:37:45,432 You'll also receive a lovely set of steak knives. 551 00:37:45,510 --> 00:37:47,637 I never eat at home. Now, what about this, sir? 552 00:37:47,712 --> 00:37:50,545 Oh. Oh, this-this is of interest, yes. 553 00:37:50,615 --> 00:37:53,982 Yeah, well, can you tell me why, sir? I mean, what is a succubus, sir? 554 00:37:54,052 --> 00:37:56,543 A succubus is a female demon. 555 00:37:56,621 --> 00:37:59,556 She animates the bodies of ripe young women, 556 00:37:59,624 --> 00:38:04,493 who then lure only handsome young men into amorous situations. 557 00:38:04,562 --> 00:38:06,962 And then, while embracing, 558 00:38:07,031 --> 00:38:11,161 she changes into a ghoul so fiendish... 559 00:38:11,235 --> 00:38:15,331 that the horror of it bursts the heart. 560 00:38:15,406 --> 00:38:17,897 That's what's been happening - That's what's been happening on the campus! 561 00:38:17,976 --> 00:38:21,070 - Oh, is it? I hadn't heard. - Yeah. 562 00:38:21,145 --> 00:38:24,080 I don't see how it could be happening, as it's only a superstition. 563 00:38:24,148 --> 00:38:26,514 Oh, oh, Mr. Kolchak, 564 00:38:26,584 --> 00:38:30,315 you've marked only one- four- four subscriptions. 565 00:38:30,388 --> 00:38:34,188 - Are you trying to gull me? - Dr. Mozart, would I try to gull you? 566 00:38:34,258 --> 00:38:36,192 Now, what can be done about the succubus? 567 00:38:36,260 --> 00:38:38,421 - Are you interested in firearms? - No. 568 00:38:38,496 --> 00:38:41,522 How about a subscription to the Handgun Review? 569 00:38:41,599 --> 00:38:45,729 No, thank you. Fine, fine. I'll send it to Miss Emily. Now what about the succubus, sir? 570 00:38:45,803 --> 00:38:50,035 Oh, exorcism can drive a demon away. 571 00:38:50,108 --> 00:38:53,407 However, the churches are reluctant to perform the act these days. 572 00:38:53,478 --> 00:38:56,572 It's bad for the image, you know. Yes, of course. 573 00:38:56,648 --> 00:38:59,708 However, you're missing the whole focal point of the tablet. 574 00:38:59,784 --> 00:39:02,947 It's interesting only from an anthropological point of view. 575 00:39:03,021 --> 00:39:04,955 Kids are dropping dead on the campus, sir. 576 00:39:05,023 --> 00:39:07,651 I was aware the Whitehead tablet was on campus, 577 00:39:07,725 --> 00:39:10,558 but I didn't know it was the same as the Pigafetta tablet. 578 00:39:10,628 --> 00:39:12,562 Pig- This would seem to confirm it. 579 00:39:12,630 --> 00:39:14,564 Piga-Piga-Pigafetta tablet? 580 00:39:14,632 --> 00:39:18,329 Pigafetta- an Italian traveler of the 1500s. 581 00:39:18,403 --> 00:39:22,669 He mentions a fabled tablet of the Mesopotamian Empire, 582 00:39:22,740 --> 00:39:26,176 presided over, so they said, by a succubus. 583 00:39:26,244 --> 00:39:29,680 Of course, that tablet was lost a long time ago. Uh-huh. 584 00:39:29,747 --> 00:39:34,514 However, it would appear that Whitehead found the tablet. 585 00:39:34,585 --> 00:39:37,850 Oh, it's all here in these books. 586 00:39:37,922 --> 00:39:41,016 Uh, the long dark legend of death... 587 00:39:41,092 --> 00:39:44,027 surrounding- surrounding the tablet. 588 00:39:44,095 --> 00:39:47,690 Thank you. Thank you, sir. Thank you. 589 00:39:47,765 --> 00:39:49,699 Excuse me. Oh. Oh. 590 00:39:49,767 --> 00:39:52,634 Oh, we haven't made your final selection, have we? 591 00:39:52,704 --> 00:39:55,867 May I suggest Contemporary Inventions? 592 00:39:55,940 --> 00:39:59,307 You learn how to build your own solar-operated pottery wheel, 593 00:39:59,377 --> 00:40:02,744 how to make shark repellents with ingredients found in the home- 594 00:40:02,814 --> 00:40:04,611 But will it tell me what to do about a succubus? 595 00:40:04,682 --> 00:40:08,209 I believe Pigafetta reported that some worthies of the time... 596 00:40:08,286 --> 00:40:12,416 urged that the, uh, tablets be destroyed. 597 00:40:12,490 --> 00:40:16,153 Destroyed? Oh, no, no, no. It's much too valuable. It's-It's priceless. 598 00:40:16,227 --> 00:40:18,593 There must be some other way to get rid of a succubus. 599 00:40:18,663 --> 00:40:22,997 - I'm not sure. - Well, are you sure, Doctor, this is the same tablet? 600 00:40:23,067 --> 00:40:27,527 You would have to admit, it's a nice theory, isn't it? 601 00:40:27,605 --> 00:40:30,574 Oh, dear. I can't find my references. 602 00:40:30,641 --> 00:40:33,075 Now, let me think. 603 00:40:39,317 --> 00:40:42,946 It's in Italian. How do you spell- 604 00:41:11,115 --> 00:41:13,310 I'll return them later. 605 00:41:23,227 --> 00:41:26,719 No, Phyllis, Mike Sandler dropped out last quarter. Yeah. 606 00:41:26,798 --> 00:41:30,564 Big contacts - big, big. Know the campus inside out. Oh, yeah. 607 00:41:30,635 --> 00:41:34,401 Yeah, yeah. Hold on. She thinks we should try Rose, the Humanities secretary. 608 00:41:34,472 --> 00:41:36,736 Well, don't talk, dial. Okay, thanks- 609 00:41:36,808 --> 00:41:39,572 Yeah, good-bye, Phyl. Dial! I'll call you. 610 00:41:39,644 --> 00:41:42,909 Let's see. 611 00:41:42,980 --> 00:41:45,574 Hey. Do you understand- 612 00:41:47,652 --> 00:41:50,246 Do you understand Latin? Yeah, some. 613 00:41:50,321 --> 00:41:54,758 Yeah, well, see if you- See if you can translate this here, will ya? 614 00:41:54,826 --> 00:41:57,693 Uh, yeah, that's, uh, a whole sentence right there. 615 00:41:57,762 --> 00:41:59,923 Yeah, I know. It's got a period at the end of it. 616 00:41:59,997 --> 00:42:04,024 Well, I just know a few terms - ex post facto, habeas corpus, corpus delicti, stuff like that. 617 00:42:04,101 --> 00:42:06,194 Terrific. Perry Mason Latin. 618 00:42:06,270 --> 00:42:08,204 Hello, Rose? Hi. This is Rosalind Winters. 619 00:42:08,272 --> 00:42:10,706 Hey, I'm sorry it's so late, and this is gonna be hard. Dead languages. 620 00:42:10,775 --> 00:42:13,437 I'm looking for a guy named Michael. Maybe it's fitting. 621 00:42:13,511 --> 00:42:15,445 Well, that's just it. 622 00:42:15,513 --> 00:42:18,505 I don't know, except he's good looking and he might have something to do with Dr. Spate. 623 00:42:18,583 --> 00:42:20,517 Yeah, go find your book. 624 00:42:20,585 --> 00:42:23,213 Half this stuff s in dead languages. 625 00:42:23,287 --> 00:42:26,745 Maybe that's very fitting after all. Aha. Aha. 626 00:42:26,824 --> 00:42:29,224 Here's something. Here it is. Here it is, right here. 627 00:42:29,293 --> 00:42:34,390 "Pigafetta. A Babylonian tablet, an ancient piece"- Yeah, that's right. Uh-huh. 628 00:42:34,465 --> 00:42:39,425 "Several scholars in ancientJerusalem attempted to destroy the hated object, 629 00:42:39,503 --> 00:42:41,596 "but it was buried for later... 630 00:42:41,672 --> 00:42:45,870 retrieval by one Yusef Al-Mamoudi. " 631 00:42:45,943 --> 00:42:47,877 You hear about that kind of thing all the time. 632 00:42:47,945 --> 00:42:50,573 There's probably 100 of those tablets around. 633 00:42:52,650 --> 00:42:55,915 Terrific. Yeah, Rose. Yeah. 634 00:42:55,987 --> 00:42:58,547 What's this Michael Hannrahan look like? "See tablets, A to Z." 635 00:42:58,623 --> 00:43:02,582 No, no, no. Forget it. He's gotta be exceptionally built, at least an eight. 636 00:43:02,660 --> 00:43:06,790 - Contacts? Sounds more like a hen party to me. - Well, say on a scale of one to ten, 637 00:43:06,864 --> 00:43:10,425 MickJagger is the only nine and Quasimodo's a two. 638 00:43:10,501 --> 00:43:12,526 Aha! Here it is, right here. 639 00:43:12,603 --> 00:43:15,231 "Jerome of Hapsburg, during the Crusades"- 640 00:43:15,306 --> 00:43:17,570 - What? The Crusades? - No. 641 00:43:17,642 --> 00:43:20,873 "A tablet, given by Ahra Manyu to man, 642 00:43:20,945 --> 00:43:23,709 "much desired, but also feared. 643 00:43:23,781 --> 00:43:27,717 The deaths of several young knights and Saracen maidens were reported. " 644 00:43:27,785 --> 00:43:30,652 It's gotta be the same one as Spate's. It's gotta be. 645 00:43:31,722 --> 00:43:34,316 - What do you got? What's happening? - Will you hold on? She's got an eight. 646 00:43:34,392 --> 00:43:36,485 An eight? Yeah, go ahead, Rose. 647 00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:38,425 Oh, yeah? 648 00:43:39,830 --> 00:43:41,764 There's a Michael Thompson. 649 00:43:41,832 --> 00:43:45,700 They ran a financial check on him because Spate was gonna offer him an assistantship. 650 00:43:45,770 --> 00:43:49,570 That's the one! Where is he? Right this minute? I don't know. This is a big campus. 651 00:43:49,640 --> 00:43:53,576 He lives in Branner Hall, but you can never get through on the phones there. 652 00:43:53,644 --> 00:43:55,578 Big, big contacts. Where are you going? 653 00:43:55,646 --> 00:43:58,240 Big mouth. Big deal. Kolchak, wait a minute. 654 00:43:58,316 --> 00:44:01,251 Thank you, Rose, I'll see you later. Back. Get back! Don't follow me. 655 00:44:01,319 --> 00:44:03,651 Wait a minute! Get back! 656 00:45:59,970 --> 00:46:01,904 Mike? 657 00:46:04,742 --> 00:46:07,006 Will you forgive me? 658 00:46:08,079 --> 00:46:10,570 I do crazy things sometimes. 659 00:46:12,249 --> 00:46:15,184 Yeah, we all do crazy things. 660 00:46:15,252 --> 00:46:17,584 I shouldn't have got so frosted, I guess. 661 00:46:41,145 --> 00:46:43,079 Put that down. 662 00:46:43,147 --> 00:46:47,982 - You're not mad? - Anger is counter-productive. 663 00:46:48,052 --> 00:46:52,148 Get out of my way. You put a scratch on this, and I'll see that you go to prison. 664 00:46:52,223 --> 00:46:54,691 You and your news service will be ruined. Your new assistant, Michael, 665 00:46:54,758 --> 00:46:56,692 has a succubus on his back because of this thing. 666 00:46:56,760 --> 00:47:00,457 - He may be dead already. - Will you hold me? 667 00:47:00,531 --> 00:47:04,490 You'd destroy this piece of antiquity for some stupid, idiotic fairy tale. 668 00:47:04,568 --> 00:47:07,594 It's not a fairy tale. You know that as well as I do. You've known it all along. 669 00:47:07,671 --> 00:47:09,969 Now get out of my way! 670 00:47:17,515 --> 00:47:21,383 No! Beat it! 671 00:48:46,770 --> 00:48:50,069 Oh! 672 00:49:22,072 --> 00:49:25,007 The campus security force insisted on calling the Chicago Police... 673 00:49:25,075 --> 00:49:27,168 to press charges against me, 674 00:49:27,244 --> 00:49:31,476 but they found a sudden surprising resistance from Dr. C. Evan Spate, 675 00:49:31,548 --> 00:49:36,508 who claimed the tablet had been broken accidentally. 676 00:49:36,587 --> 00:49:41,024 And despite verification by a confused and frightened Michael Thompson, 677 00:49:41,091 --> 00:49:46,028 neither reporter Ms. Rosalind Winters nor I had enough hard evidence... 678 00:49:46,096 --> 00:49:48,189 to file a story. 679 00:49:48,265 --> 00:49:50,529 It had all turned to dust. 680 00:49:50,601 --> 00:49:53,035 However, published story or not, I can only say to you... 681 00:49:53,103 --> 00:49:56,869 that should you ever meet a young woman who seems just too lovely... 682 00:49:56,940 --> 00:49:59,534 to be really of this world, 683 00:49:59,610 --> 00:50:03,239 well, just remember, there's a very good chance that she isn't. 684 00:50:03,289 --> 00:50:07,839 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0